In the Cape and Learning how to “Relax”

I just found this on my laptop and this was actually written in August when I was home on vacation and I must have wrote it when I had a little bit of time on my hands (there is no cable or internet on the premises, nor many friends who still live in Sydney, and the ones that do were working - but I was very excited that Danielle took a vacation day to hang out!).

So I’m home after not being here in Cape Breton in about a year and a half and not seeing my mom since my time in Vietnam. I am officially on vacation, which means I am actually getting paid for this week I am off from the office.

I flew into Halifax on a Friday and Carrie (friend from junior high school, meaning we have been friends for over 14 years!) picked me up from the airport and the drive into the city was very scenic – it dawned on me that I haven’t been in Nova Scotia during the summer in years because the only time I come home is during Christmas, so seeing the ocean flying in and all the fields in full bloom was quite picturesque.

We dropped off the car and went straight for lunch and drinks to the patio of Your (or maybe it’s My … I always get it confused) Father’s Moustache, an old lunchtime hangout during my undergrad days. I met up with Adele, my neighbour from residence in first year for coffee and dinner. We went for a walk down along the waterfront and reminisced about our younger days and catching up about our current career paths. I was staying at Amanda’s (old roommate from Dal) apartment and was waiting for her arrival from PEI where she came back for the weekend to see me and some other friends who were in town. The plan was to go out that evening because Kersten happened to be down from the ’knife for her sister’s wedding except I didn’t really know the places to go anymore since Halifax has seemed to gone through a transition from old fashion Irish pubs to swanky martini bars. We started at the Bitter End for some drinks and transferred to the Tribecca which is a cool little place with character and atmosphere. Tried ending the evening at Reflections, which is a gay bar which is rumored to have great dancing and a place I always wanted to go but just never have made it to. But … just as we were about to enter, the dance floor was a bit empty and techno music was blaring, which goes against the two factors I need to dance, a full dance floor and music I know. However the evening ended like most of my nights when we use to go out … at pizza corner and we did see a local celebrity home on holidays as well, Sidney Crosby.

Next morning Amanda and I went to the farmer’s market which was one of my favorite things to do when I lived in Halifax. I got my usual smoothie and Indian combo for breakfast. There are some very progressive plans in the works to relocate the market to the waterfront. Amanda was able to see a little bit of what I actually do because I am sure urban planning sounds kind of confusing in itself. The plans are for a LEED (Leadership in Environmental and Energy Design) platinum level certified green building where the heating and cooling system will be regulated by the local environment using the harbour waters, solar panels, green roofs, and a wind turbine.

Drove back to Sydney that afternoon and everything looked much the same except I must say I did see lots of new stores (albeit big box) and the mainstreet and harbourfront looked good with the new improvements that have been implemented. I was really impressed with the running/walking pathways and park that was put behind Sherwood Park Junior High School.

Sarah’s bachelorette was that evening where I can proudly say we closed the infamous Smooth Herman’s.

Canadiana

It has been about 2 months since I been back in Ottawa and it was been a jam packed spring and more to come in the summer. I thought it would be nice to share some pictures of what I actually do in Ottawa and what people in general do in the country known for its public health care system, for being nice, and Pamela Anderson (a Vietnamese person actually associated Canada with her ...).

The ING Marathon race draws thousands of runners from around the world.

Ottawa is a very active city, if you are near the river or the famous Canal you'll likely be passed by runners and cyclists. I was in much better shape before and after I was in Vietnam - I actually ran a half marathon last year and can't imagine being able to run one right now! I know I was a bit 'unexcited' when I came back to Ottawa but being back for the last while I realize what I really missed about the city. Running along the river with Parliament in the background, inhaling fresh air into my lungs and being surrounded by green space can't be beat. Grass was a novelty in Hanoi and you aren't even allowed to walk on it in Beijing parks.

Camping in Algonquin Provincial Park

I went portaging for the first time last year. Kate is like my camp counsellor - she gives me instruction, encourages me to be adventurous, but doesn't make me do anything, plus we like to hang out with each other. For all my non-camping friends out there - portaging is when you go camping but get from spot to spot with canoes and therefore must carry the canoe over your head when moving by land. I am sure my Vietnamese friends would find this slighty a wild idea especially when they thought I was a bit crazy for hiking Mt. Fanxipan ... I still think I am crazy for doing that and I have my battle scars to remind me! We are heading back to the same camp site next weekened plus adding another night to go to a natural rock water slide, which I am very excited to conquest.

So we tried to make a turkey ...

Well I didn't really help at all, but I did eat a lot of the 20 pound plus bird. We had a huge New Year's Day dinner one year and told people to bring tupperware because we didn't want to be eating turkey non stop for a month. I had a hard time describing what a turkey was when I was explaining what Canadians eat for Christmas. I normally don't even eat turkey when I go home for the holidays. In my family we usually have lobster and roasted duck (hence my addiction to bbq duck when I was in Vietnam). I never realized how much work and equipment you actually need to make a turkey - a huge pan, a baser (I don't even know how to spell it), chains to lift the bird out of the pan, a thermometer (so you can make sure it's cooked all the way through), and lots of other gadget things that I don't know the name for.

My relatives who came to Canada in 1980 who now live in Toronto and the new wave of Nguyen's. For some reason I never make it into the family photos!

I was in Toronto last weekend and got to meet up with my cousin Tung. His dad came to Canada first and Tung moved to Halifax when he was in about grade 2. He is only a few months younger than me but pulls rank over me since his dad is older than my dad (which I always thought was unfair when I was a kid). I was really excited to talk to him about my time in Vietnam because he still remembers it, it has not left his memory. I was able to show him photos of our relatives and maybe the sad part was, he could see that they have aged (he was back in 2000). But to me I will always see them as when I first met them. It's hard to even think of them as being young parents as most are over 60 and grandparents now.

So I am feeling quite normal again. I work Monday to Friday (I get Friday's off in the summer ... woohoo!) from 8:30 to 5:00, have my extra-curricular activities in the evening (ultimate, swimming, Ottawa sport and social club), and relax and hang out during the weekends. I had some visitors in the last couple of weeks and been enjoying catching up with old friends. Kersten was down visiting from Yellowknife and I am hoping to visit her in the 'knife next year in the spring, definitely not during the winter. The weather is getting warmer and warmer but I keep thinking winter is around the corner since I relate a year, a cycle, with experiencing all the 4 seasons - so 2006 has not ended in my head until I see snow!

My mom has never actually read my blog because she refuses to learn how to use a computer!

I was ready to come home because I needed to calm myself down. I was doing so many things, lived in the expat bubble, felt I was becoming a little pompous and knew it was time to get grounded which ironicially meant coming back to the place that I call home in Canada. Don't get me wrong, living in Vietnam was a wonderful experience, but it didn't feel like I could genuinely appreciate it until I left. It is not the end, I am already trying to figure out when I will be back next. My next stop though, is my birth home, heading to Sydney in August (couldn't go back earlier since I can't take time off during my probation period at work) to see my mom - it will be almost year since I seen her and can't wait to give her a big hug. I see her in new eyes, I feel like I got to know her so much better although not through conversations but being able to see the different periods of her life, where she grew up as a child, her thriving during the prime of her life, and the heart ache she had to endure when making the decision to leave her family and country in a small raft with her husband and baby wearing only her humble possessions.

We're not in Kansas (ie. Hanoi) anymore

It's been awhile since I posted, especially since I always diligently tried to post once or twice a week when I was in Vietnam and made it part of my work activities. Now I am back at an office job, where I really can't spend time 'blogging' as part of my related responsibilities!

Caroline and I coming from paddling and eating at West Lake.

It's been about a month since I been back. And I look back now and can see I was definitely in reverse culture shock even in a bit of a downer mood. You think everything is the same and everybody is going to be exactly how they were before you left, but I think people forget that they are always changing even though it doesn't feel like it. I felt quite out of place and not in tuned into how Ottawa society is supposed to be lived. The streets felt empty, everyone seemed huge (compared to all the 100lb Vietnamese locals I was accustomed to seeing), and it felt like all the life was sucked out of the city that I remembered being so outgoing and bustling. I couldn't help but compare everything to Hanoi and almost felt guilty for going back to my comfortable lifestyle. I told myself I would be more frugal, not buy useless things, and be more conscience of my decisions and really think about how it effects 'sustainable' development.

Dan and his manly minsk, I miss xe om's!

How long did that last? Not very, I'll tell ya. That lasted for about 7 days, being generous. How I went from one extreme to the other extreme in such a short period of time still surprises me. Ottawa began to come back to life for me, I was finding the common ground with my friends again, and I was back to my spending ways (eating out and rationalizing purchases because I needed them). I got completely settled back into my old life that Vietnam felt like a distant memory that I had to remind myself that I was just there a few short weeks ago. But then something small or random would happen and it would trigger my memory and I could find my Vietnam space again.

Mai always the drunk at every party ...

Well, I can't say I completely have not kept up some of my Vietnam lifestyle - I have only really cooked one nice meal since being back, the rest of it has been a lot of sandwiches, pre-cooked whole bbq chicken from Loblaws, and steamed vegetables. I do miss being able to eat out all the time (for cheap and the fresh fruit)!

Tu (Vietnamese God author) and I at a friend's house party

I am back to my routine, I joined an ultimate team (go Rational Agents!), a sport and social club, and a swim class. Been running along the Ottawa River and really appreciate the true sky blue skies. My friend Lily now has a big round belly and I am glad I will be around when she has her baby boy.

So that's enough for my ramblings tonight. I just got back from pub food and drinks after our hard fought ultimate game. Not sure if anyone is reading anymore, but thanks to everyone who said they really enjoyed reading it. I didn't know I had quite the faithful fan base :) I will be writing from time to time, it helps me reflect about Vietnam and I don't want, probably my most influential trip and personal growth experience, to become a distant memory.

Where Am I?

I have returned to Ottawa and am sitting at my sister's computer thinking about the last 7 months. Things seem normal here that is almost feels like I didn't leave at all; however at the same time, I feel like a foreigner and the Ottawa I remember seems strangely unfamiliar. Everything pretty much looks the same but feels quite different. I had a friend warn me that when I returned I will realize how much I changed and that has hold true. I feel like Ottawa has been evacuated or something because the streets are eerily quiet. I guess I am showimg symptoms of reverse culture shock, but I really can't believe the sound of soundlessness. I know I complained about the noise and buzz of the Hanoi streets, but here the feeling is so impersonal when you walk by a passerby. I am used to talking to the street vendors, people encouraging me to buy something, and saying hello to my regular xe om drivers. However, I have missed the excuse me's, please's, and may I's, and understand why Canadians have a reputation for being polite.


My farewell in Hanoi is the best farewell I ever had. Chi came over to say goodbye, all the roommates woke up early and took a piece of luggage each and walked me to my cab (since the taxi can't pick me up at my door because of our long, narrow windy alley). I hugged my housekeeper good-bye and shook hands with Lora's xe om / our house handyman.

Just wanted to post that I plan to put an extensive reflection eventually once I get settled. I just returned to Elm Street and started my first day of work and have the lovely task of unpacking all week. So stay tuned!

Last days in Hanoi

My last few days in Vietnam and I am taking it easy. I made a list of things I want to do before I go: visit Ho Chi Minh’s mausoleum and talk a walk in Lenin Park, which is suppose to the nicest and largest park in Hanoi. The biggest challenge is going to be packing and deciding what I actually want to bring back and leave behind. I got lots of presents from relatives and friends and love to shop so that means I will have to sweet talk the check-in’s people.

My Aunt 6 (sitting in the middle and who has a scary strong ressemblance to my mom) and I did a day tour of the Mekong Delta

My housekeeper has volunteered to take my leftover stuff and if she can’t use it has promised to find someone that will. That is one observation I have noted – nothing gets wasted, things that I take for granted as garbage gets used in some way or form. Our housekeeper will sort through our garbage bags and take out anything that can be recycled for money or used again. Even the garbage collectors sift through the garbage bags and take out anything that can be reused. When our neighbours take out their garbage they only have one small bag while we usually have at least 2 huge bags.

My grandfather's old house in Binh Thuan province and where my 12 aunts and uncles used to live.

Today was my last ultimate day and HUC (Hanoi Ulimate Club) will be one of my favorite memories. I have met really interesting people through the game and met even more when I went to Saigon and Bangkok. It was such a good way to meet expats and locals and our weekly tradition of going for sugarcane juice is something that will be greatly missed. I knew when I came to Vietnam I should join activities and put myself out there and ultimate was something I started in my first week. I am already on a team when I get back to Ottawa and I think we start the week I get back ...

I just called my mom and was telling her about my trip to Saigon. I was able to tell her that I saw where her and my dad used to live, where my uncle took my sister when she was a baby for ice cream, the market she shopped at, and where my cousin Hien swam across the lake. My Uncle Chien and I really got along well and perhaps I even take after him. Even though my Vietnamese isn’t great we were still able to talk about politics, life in Vietnam, and our family history. He took the day off work and since he owns a car (with a driver) took me to my grandfather’s old home where Aunt 5 lives in Binh Thuan province, which is about 3 and a half hours away. So we left at 4:30am and he wouldn’t even let me sleep in the car because he thought it was important I see the path to the family home. Aunt 5 works in the market and has a stall selling mats. I met her briefly on New Year’s day and she had no idea we were coming to visit. I pretended to be a customer while my other relatives hid and I wanted to see if she remembered me or not. She was a little confused and looked at me strangely and then realized it was me. I was a bit inappropriately dressed for the trip because I didn’t really know where we were going. I was wearing a bright skirt and heals so kind of stuck out in the town since I was notably taller than everyone and not afraid to get a tan by wearing a tank top (everyone covers up with a big conical hat and long sleeved shirts to keep their skin light). Visiting Aunt 5 and seeing how strong she is and her pride of where she is from made me really proud to be part of her family. Being with Aunt 5 made me really see the contrast of my life to what my life in Vietnam could have been. I think my uncle knows these things are important for me to experience and helped me get see it.

Aunt 4 and I on the rooftop picking mangos - my grandfather planted the tree sometime in the 70s.

When I was visiting my mom’s side, I got to see where my grandfather used to live and where Aunt 4 lived before she immigrated to Seattle and it made me start to understand why they decided to leave. I always wondered why my relatives left Vietnam, when life seemed comfortable, and our family seemed so tight knit, but the wealth and social securities in North America is just not attainable for them if they stayed in Saigon. My family who lives abroad regularly sends money to help my relatives in Vietnam. I had no money to give (although they would never accept it anyway) but came up with the idea of printing photos (the magic of digital) of my last visit and of photos of family in Canada like of my sister’s wedding. I promised myself and them I am coming back within 2 years either for work or to visit and hopefully with my sister and mom. I feel if I am going to do development work, it will most definitely be in Vietnam.

Hanoi Ulimate Club at our new grassy field. Thank you UNIS (the UN International School)!

Sweet sugarcane juice - I am still amazed how much juice there is in the canes I always assumed they added water ...

I am heading back to Canada in 3 days and can’t believe it has been nearly 7 months. This has been a good experience for me and I really have to thank Kate and Diem for encouraging me to do this and making it easier for me to go. I did have some reservations in going, but now have no regrets – I would have regretted not going.

The Golden Turtle Himself

I saw the Hoan Kiem Turtle ... I been either blessed or cursed

Easter is not a widely celebrated holiday in Hanoi and I actually almost forgot about it. Not a chocolate bunny in sight! I been waiting for some emails from Canada and was wondering what was taking so long and finally realized that everything is closed for the long weekend. Happy Easter to everyone.

Yesterday one of our Canadian delegates arrived and it's Felix's first time in Vietnam. I like seeing people's initial reactions to the city and it reminds me of when I first came. Except Felix just came from Delhi so he actually found Hanoi quite tame after his full on cultural immersion in India. We walked around Hoan Kiem Lake and it is a famous Vietnamese landmark, for lodging a very old turtle according to legend (read below, I am too lazy to paraphrase).

In 1418, a farmer whose name was Le Loi (future Le Thai To) grouped an insurrection army in Lam Son District in Thanh Hoa Province. He proclaimed himself as Binh Dinh Vuong (King of Pacification) and led the resistance against the aggressors for 10 years and regained national independence. The name of this lake is derived from a legend that a fisherman named Le Than caught a sword blade when drawing in his fishnet. Than decided to offer it to his commanding general Le Loi. Afterwards, King Le Loi found a hilt that fit the blade very well. This sword was kept at his side during the 10 years of resistance against Ming aggressors. After winning over the foreign aggression, King Le Thai To returned to Thang Long Citadel. One day, aboard a royal boat, he took a cruise on Luc Thuy Lake when a giant turtle emerged and came towards him. The king withdrew his sword, and pointed the sword in the direction of the coming turtle for his soldiers' attention. Suddenly, the turtle caught the sword in its teeth and submerged. The king thought that during the resistance against Ming aggressors, the genius had offered him this sword to help him defeat the enemy. At that time, peace was returning, and the genius appeared to take back the sword. Consequently, King Le Thai To decided to name the lake ‘Hoan Kiem’ (Lake of Restored Sword). In the middle of the lake is Thap Rua (Turtle Tower).

I hosted an ultimate vietnamese dinner and here some of the willing helpers rolling springrolls. I wanted to learn how to make a vietnamese meal from scratch and we even went to the market and bought all the ingredients. But, I mostly ended up being an observer and taste-tester.

I have never really tried to look for the turtle and was skeptical when Melissa said she saw the turtle one morning. We noticed a gathering around the lake and I knew it could only mean one thing, the turtle had surfaced! I will have proof once I get the photos from Felix, but the excitment in the air was almost more interesting for me to watch. Vietnamese people tend to be a bit superstitous and when there is a turtle sighting it means something big is going to happen either good fortune or bad luck. I been going about my day to see if anything will happen. So far I can blame the turtle for getting caught in the rain on my way to work and sitting in wet clothes in the office.

Tu and Son in the front yard doing the veggies. Note our fish pond! Lora says there is a little turtle in there somewhere but it has never surfaced for me.

I went to Cuc Phuong last week which is the first national park in Vietnam. I been meaning to go for a while, but just didn't really have any time. Mai and I went to an industry night for Buffalo Tours and Mai ended up winning the grand prize which was an overnight trip for two in the surrounding area. Mai works for a tour agency and had done all the tours many times that she graciously gave the trip to me! So I decided to go to Cuc Phuong and just needed someone to come with me. Dan, fellow Canadian whose (embarrassingly) vietnamese is way better than mine, came with. We had a private car, our own guide, and beautiful weather. It was nice to get out of the city and do some trekking.

Foreigners tend to get asked to have their picture taken, and fair-skinned Dan was asked to pose several times ... I think I was only asked because I was Dan's friend. This is taken in the Cave of Prehistoric Man, bones from 12,000 years ago were found here.

My favorite was visiting the primate rescue centre and seeing all the different type of monkeys swinging around, where some have been rescued from poachers. We even got to see a 3-day old monkey. Many are endangered species and continually sold on the black market. Why would someone want to eat monkey brain? Why does ancient medicine believe that eating parts of monkey will make men more viril? The biggest problem, our guide told us, is that monkeys and other endangered animals are usually taken to China and sold to make Chinese medicines.

The 1000-year old tree, we were skeptical of its true age ...

Auditions for Vietnam Idol have just began and coming to Hanoi on the 15th. I will unfortunately be in Saigon and won't be able to put my karaoke experience into use. I am visiting my relatives one more time before I head back. I think I am going to fast for a few days before I go because I know they are going to spoil me with so much homemade cooking! I am making a list of things I need to do before I go. I actually haven't done a lot of the touristy stuff because I just thought I have my whole internship to do it and oh course, I never did. Next week I am going to go to Ho Chi Minh's mausaleum. I have seen Chairman Mao's and then I will have to go visit Lenin's and Castro's, when the time comes, to complete my communist leaders tour.

Not my house, but the houses across the alley from me. I really enjoy our neighbourhood except for all the reconstruction they do at 6 in the morning. Houses tend to be built narrow and tall because houses are taxed based on ground floor area and not by land property size.